How come nobody’s talking about this: Do Women Really Want Diversity—or Familiarity?
I’ve been guiding women through IRL (In Real Life) experiences here in New York, and if there’s one thing I know—it’s that every woman says she wants connection, but how we define that connection is not always the same.
As a 54-year-old Black woman, I’ve noticed a tension that many of us don’t say out loud: sometimes, we crave spaces where we can just exhale among other Black women. Where compatibility feels natural, not a negotiation. Where we don’t have to brace ourselves in case the conversation turns uncomfortable or drifts into microaggressions.
At the same time, there’s a beauty in diversity. I’ve seen it firsthand in Yonkers—Black, Latina, Asian, Italian, and white women gathered in one circle, laughing and connecting beyond stereotypes. The phrase ‘I LOVE ???? these women’ gets thrown around in a real way. I don’t know about you, but I believe in LOVE at first sight because I experience it on some level with just about every experience I’m able to curate. That Yonkers group of women still sits with me, because it proved something: diverse spaces can work, but only when everyone feels safe enough to show up fully.
I find myself wondering—do white women ever ask these same questions? Do they prefer the comfort of sameness, or do they lean into diversity differently? I don’t know the answer, but I do know this: every woman wants to feel seen.
And maybe the real work is not choosing exclusivity over diversity or vice versa. Maybe it’s creating circles where authenticity matters more than anything else.
That’s the space I’m holding, one Intentional connecting event at a time.